Moving

I have decided to start a new blog.  I have kind of abandoned this one, but I don't want to stop blogging entirely.  I just think I get bored with only posting about my weight loss...my life is so much more than just that.  My new blog is about my whole life: weight loss, motherhood, work, etc.  It's about all of me.  Please go here to follow the new blog:  http://singleblogit.blogspot.com/

Thanks!!!

Weigh-In Day, Week 10

Starting weight: 270
Current weight: 255
Total pounds lost: 15

I gained weight this week.  I am not happy about it at all, but I know why it happened.  Remember last week when I ate badly and slacked off on the workouts?  Well, I think it caught up to me this week.  Also, the night before the weigh-in this week I went out with my friends and had a little too much to drink.  I know alcohol is full of empty calories and it also makes you retain water, so I am sure that didn't help any at the weigh-in.

I feel disappointed in myself and I feel like I let a lot of my hard work slip away.  I need to get back on track and get my butt in gear this week.  I am trying not to be too hard on myself, but it's hard.  I still have so far to go until I reach my ultimate goal and to gain even just a little bit of weight takes me further away from that goal and it's frustrating.  I will also admit that I hear about people doing the Biggest Loser contest who have lost 40 or 50 pounds and I can't even reach 20.  I really want to make my goal of losing 30 pounds by the end of the competition but at this point, it may not be possible.  I only have until April 2.  It's really time for me to haul ass. 

Weigh-In Day, Week 9

Starting weight: 270
Current weight: 252.2
Total pounds lost: 17.8

I lost 1 pound this week.  I'll take it.  It's not the 3.2 pounds I wanted to lose to get out of the 250's, but it is something and it is better than gaining.  I slacked off this last week, as I said in my earlier post.  I ate food that I know wasn't very healthy anf I did not go to the gym for 5 days straight.  Yikes.  I got myself back on track though and I am food journaling and exercising again.  I think that's what is important.  I had a little break but I am back and am happy to be back.  I didn't let a few bad days ruin all my hard work.  In my previous weight loss attempts, I let a couple slip ups ruin all my efforts and just take me back to where I was before.  This time is different.  I am sticking with it this time and there is definitely something different about my mindset.  I have heard lots of people that say weight loss is not just about the physical, a lot of it is mental too.  I truly believe that now.  My mentality is at a completely different place now than it was all those other times, and it seems to be working this time.  I am putting in the effort and the time, but I am also reaping the benefits.  It feels good.   

Weigh-In Day, Week 8

Starting Weight: 270
Current Weight: 253.2
Total pounds lost: 16.8

I am happy with my 5.2 pound loss for this weigh-in.  I am almost out of the 250's and I am so excited.  Last year, before I got pregnant, 250 was my magic number.  I kept telling myself I wanted to get to 250 as my first weight loss goal.  Unfortunately, it didn't happen and then I got pregnant and the 9 months of eating began.  But here I am, almost out of the 250's and still going strong.  I would love to push myself and be lose that 3.2 pounds for next week's weigh-in, but I don't think that's going to happen.  You see, so far this week I have been eating pretty badly.  I have eaten doughnuts, ice cream, and more ice cream.  I don't know what it is but my sweat tooth has kicked in majorly this week.  As I am writing this, my stomach hurts from eating a huge bowl of ice cream after dinner.  I was craving it so badly, but now that I had it, it wasn't that great.  Admitting my setback is the first step in fixing the problem.  I am not going to let a few bad eating days ruin my whole week and I am going to be back on track tomorrow and the rest of the week.  I will lose weight at the next weigh-in, even if it isn't the 3.2 pounds I need to be out of the 250's.  That's okay though.  If I don't get there this week, I will most definitely get there next week.  :)

All This Work Isn't For Nothing

I have been transforming my unhealthy lifestyle into a healthier one for over a month now.  I began on January 2 and it is now mid-February.  I am extremely excited to report that I am seeing huge differences in many aspects of my life.  There have been so many time I have wanted to give up and eat that pint of ice cream or skip a day at the gym or even stop at McDonal'd and get a Big Mac and fries.  I haven't been perfect and there have been days where I cheated or did less of a workout than I know I'm capable of, but the majority of the time I have kept myself pretty well disciplined and now I am seeing the results to prove it.

I have gone down 2 clothing sizes.  I wore a shirt the other day that I have not fit in to in 2 years.

I am feeling better.  I see myself having more energy and actually wanting to go to the gym on most days.

I have greatly improved on my muscle strength.  I was working with my trainer this week and she had me kick up my strength training an extra notch.  I was very surprised to see that I could do things that in the beginning of my training, I could not even halfway attempt.  I am now jumping onto aerobic steps unassisted, stepping onto the edge of my gym's boxing ring without using any leverage, and can hold the plank position for a greater amount of time than I ever could.  Seeing the improvements in my exercise capabilities makes me so happy.  I still have a long way to go, but it was so rewarding to see that I am getting stronger and I am able to do things I wasn't able to a month ago.

All the more reason to keep going!

Hello, Soreness

So I took the plunge and took the spinning class on Monday night.  Wow, it was intense.  It was 60 minutes of hardcore cycling and I was in pain for the majority of it.  Not pain like I couldn't continue, just mainly pain from that damn bicycle seat.  Those seats are not made for a girl with an ass like me.  I have a booty and I just could not get comfortable on that little teeny seat.   It was interesting to say the least though.  We did flat ground work with no reistsance, climbing with high resistance, sprints, and jumps.  Oh man, those jumps killed me.  We did jumps for one whole song and my thighs and calves were burning!  BTW, jumps are not actual jumps, obviously.  The "jumps" in this class were us cycling for two strides while sitting down, then cycling for two strides standing up.  Up, down, up, down, up down.  You get the point.  15 minutes into the class I wanted to quit.  The bike pedals were hurting my feet, my ass was hurting from the seat, and I was already sweating.  But I tried to stay focused and I did manage to finish out the entire class, which was my ultimate goal.  There were times when I had to tone down the intensity of a set so that I could keep up, but I finished and that's what is important for me.

My overall thoughts on the spinning class are still undecided.  I didn't hate it, but I did think it was above my stamina level.  I don't think I will rule it out completely but I do think I will give it a few more weeks before trying it again.  Oh, and one thing nobody told me about spinning is how sore your hoohah is for days afterwards.  Yes, I am serious.  That damn bike seat.    

Weigh In Day, Week 6

Staring weight: 270
Current weight: 258.4
Total pounds lost: 11.6

Ouch.  Only a .4 change from last week?  That sucks.  I wasn't entirely surprised though.  I did very well workout and eating wise last week, but on Friday night I made the decision to go out with my girlfriends and I ended up drinking quite a bit.  In fact, I got pretty drunk.  It was not the smartest decision, especially considering I had my weigh-in the next morning but I still did it and I did have a blast.  I think my lack of results this week stems diurectly from my alcohol consumption from the night before.  I did everything else right the entire week, so I don't think it would have turned out the same had I not gone drinking.  Knowing that keeps me from being too disappointed.  I am still doing well and I have consistently lost weight every week since beginning this journey.  I can live with that.

It's a new week now and I fully intend to stay on track with my exercise and eating.  There is no official weigh-in this weekend but I will still act as if there is.  Slacking off is not an option.  I am now a full month into the competition and I am proud of my results so far.  There are people who are doing far better than me, but there are also those doing worse.  I am just trying to focus on me right now.  I have lost 2 pants sizes.  I am feeling more energized and happier.  I am treating my body better.  I am changing my life.  I am proud of myself for not letting a less than stellar weigh-in hold me back.  I can think of many times when I have let something deter me from my goals, but this time is different.  I am 100% committed to this and I plan on keeping it that way.

To Spin Or Not To Spin?

That is the question on my mind lately.

I have been expanding my workout horizons and have been trying as many classes offered at my gym as possible.  I've tried a Bosu Ball class, an aerobic/step class (which I love!), Zumba (which I wasn't so fond of), etc.  There is a class that I've been wanting to take but am scared.  It's a spin class.  I've heard wonderfully scary things about spin classes.  I've heard how tough they are, how invigorating they are, how many calories are burned, and how sore you can be afterwards.  All those things make me want to try a spin class but I'm still scared.  I'm losing weight and getting healthier, but I'm still a big girl.  I'm not sure if a girl my size can survive a hardcore spin class.

Anybody have any spinning experiences they can share with me?

Weigh-In Day, Week 5

Okay, here are the results from this week's weigh-in...

Starting weight: 270
Current weight: 258.8
Total pounds lost: 11.2

I am super excited right now.  And proud.  And that much more motivated to keep going.  Not only did I hit my first 10 pound goal this week but I also broke out of the 260's.  I am finally in the 250's, which I haven't been in since who knows when.  I've been following the same formula: tracking my food intake using the Weight Watchers point system, working out twice a week with my trainer, doing cardio on my off days from my trainer, and taking as many classes as the gym as possible.  Now, I don't want to make it seem like my formula is fool proof, because it definitely isn't.  On Saturday and Sunday I had ginormous pieces of cake.  It was delicious, but there was a voice inside my head reminding me that I would have to work that much harder this week to burn off those extra calories.  I also skipped out on the gym twice this week on days that I normally go, but to make up for it I went an extra hour on the days that I did end up going.  My life is crazy right now and I am going through a lot of big changes.  I know that my life isn't always going to be scheduloed out and planned out to a T, but, just as I did this week, as long as I can adapt and make good choices in the long run I am positive that I can keep moving forward in a healthy direction.

Weigh-In Day, Week 4

Yesterday was my third official weigh-in for the Biggest Loser competition.  There was no weigh-in last week so I was really hoping for a big number this week.

Starting weight: 270
Current weight: 262
Total pounds lost:  8

I lost 3 pounds for this week, which I am happy about because it's better than gaining but it's also not the big number I was hoping for.  I'm not too disappointed though.  In my eyes, any weight lost is a tiny bit closer to my goal and I have been putting tons of effort into this and that's all I can ask of myself. 

This coming week I am going to continue working hard at the gym and eating right.  By this time next week, I want to be completely out of the 260's.  I know I can do it!

Little Victories

I have been busy, busy, busy with working, school, taking care of my baby, and working out.  There was no weigh-in this past weekend for the Biggest Loser because it was a holiday weekend and although I splurged a bit on Friday evening (alcohol was my weakness that night) I continued to work out as if there was still a weigh in.

Losing this weight and changing my lifestyle is going to be a long process.  It has taken me years to put all of this weight on and it will take just as long to take it off.  That can seem slightly overwhelming, so I am trying to celebrate any small victories I have along the way so I can stay motivated. 

Yesterday I had to see my soon to be ex husband.  It was already a rainy, gray day which kind of put me in a mood so seeing him was the last thing I wanted to do.  I saw him for maybe 5 minutes total and it sent me into an emotional spiral.  I was sad and depressed and wallowing in self pity.  I had to run a few errands and went to Target.  While I was there, I noticed all of the Valentine's Day candy that had just been put out.  I spent about 20 minutes in the candy aisle arguing with myself about whether or not to get some candy.  On one hand, I was sad and all I wanted was chocolate to make myself feel better but on the other hand I knew I would just be more upset with myself if I ate that candy.  Eventually I pulled myself away from the candy and made myself go to the gym instead.  Once my mood lifted, I was so proud of the choice I made and I realized that the candy would not have fixed anything. 

I can't gaurentee that I will always be able to resistr temptations, in fact, I know there will be times when I give in.  But I am glad I am learning to recognize that outside factors like my mood do affect my eating in a negative way.  Being concious of the problem is half the battle, don't you think? 

Plan Ahead

I have been told that when trying to change your diet and exercise routines, it can be extremely helpful to plan things out.  Don't wait until the last minute to figure out what to eat for dinner and don't wait to see what time you'll be exercising.  I don't think I ever really applied the planning ahead concept during my previous weight loss attempts.  This time though, I am giving it a try.  My life is so hectic right now anyways that a little bit of planning would probably make me feel less overwhelmed most days. 

Tonight I made and packed my lunch for tomorrow while I'm at work.  Usually I throw something together as I run out the door or I rely on fast food, neither of which is going to help me get healthy.  This time I baked a chicken breast and put it together with some salad, broccoli, and a little bit of cheese.  I packed some fruit for snacks and my lunch is complete.  It's healthy, it was simple and easy to make, and best of all, it's already done and it's one less thing I have to worry about in the morning.

I've also been trying to chedule my exercise time in.  This one seems to be a little bit more difficult for me because my schedule is so crazy and most of the time I just try to fit in some exercise when I can.  I may not be able to get around that all the time, but for at least some of the time I can try to figure out a schedule.  With my trainer, my appointments are already set so I can count on working out on those days.  I am also planning on what days I will go work out after work or school and I am going to try to stick to that schedule. 

All of this is going to help simplify my life and help minimize my stress.  I have enough going on in my life that stresses me out and makes me crazy (i.e. a douchebag ex husband and a full workload and a growing baby) that I don't need to add anything else on top of it.  I figure that it's worth a try.  At this point, I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

Weigh-In Day, Week 2

Today was my second weigh-in for the Biggest Loser challenge.  I was very nervous, but also excited to see if any of my efforts had paid off at all.  Here are my stats:

Starting weight: 270
Current Weight: 265

I lost 5 pounds!  I'm happy with that result, although there is a little nagging voice in the back of my head that tells me it won't be enough to win the competition.  I know there were people in front of me in line who were losing 10 pounds, but it doesn't go by weight lost, it goes by percentage of body fat lost.  I may still have a chance, as slight as it may be.  Even though I would love to win the contest, this all goes beyond that.  This is something I am doing for me.  It is my fresh start at life and it is helping me rebuild myself as a stronger, happier, and healthier person.  I will be reaping the benefits from this for the rest of my life.  So yes, winning would be amazing, but no matter what the outcome, I will come out on top anyways. 

Working Through the Pain

I am in a lot of pain, both physically and emotionally.  Going through a divorce is not easy.  Nobody ever told me it was, but the amount of heartbreak and hurt and tears was something that could never be explained beforehand.  I have good days and bad days and this week there have been more bad than good, unfortunately. 

After my first training session on Tuesday I was pretty sore, but I felt good.  Flash forward to Wednesday and I was in a lot more pain and that feel good feeling had left.  I could barely move my legs and even walking was no easy task.  I don't think I've ever been that sore, not even after my c-section!

Unfortunately, I let the emotional and physical obstacles derail me a little bit this week.  I'm so mad at myself for letting that happen, especially since it's only the first week.  I know I could have worked out longer and harder and more often, but I told myself that I needed a break because I couldn't move my legs.  I should have just sucked it up and worked through the pain, no matter how bad it was.  Also, due to all the emotional crap, I let myself wallow in self-pity and sadness and used that as an excuse not work out.  I did work out and I did monitor my eating, but I know I could have done more and that is disappointing.  If I get eliminated from the Biggest loser contest this week because of my mistakes, I will have nobody to blame but myself.  I hope I miraculously make it through and I know I will take this week and try to grow and learn from it.  There is no excuse good enough to not take care of myself and my needs.  I need to work out.  I need to eat right.  I need to do this and put 100% into it.  No ifs, ands, or buts. 

"Pain is just weakness leaving your body."  This will be my new mantra for next week.

4 More Days

Until weigh-in day, I am both excited and nervous. I have been working out and today I had my first personal training session. I would love to say I can do this on my own and I don't need to spend the money on a trainer, but I can't. If I could do this completely on my own then I wouldn't have let myself get this fat. That's the truth. I have great intentions, but my motivation tends to die down when things get tough. I guess you could say I baby myself. That's where the personal trainer comes in. She can keep me focused and keep my going during those tough workouts. I need all the extra kicks in the ass I can get. I'm also going to try to fit in as many of the group classes being offered by the gym as possible. They are in a group setting, which will keep me motivated because I don't want to be the class loser that can't finish the workout and they have an instructor that will tell me what to do so I know I'm getting a really good workout. I just hope all my efforts pay off at the weigh-in.

I went back to work this week after being on maternity leave for 2 months. School also began this week and I am so close to finishing it's not even funny. I know my life is going to be extremely busy in the upcoming months and part of me wonders whether I can really handle all of this. I keep telling myself I can and I guess I will just have to take it one day at a time. No more sleeping in and having all day pajama days for me!

Bakersfield's Biggest Loser

I did something very uncharacteristic for me. I joined a weight loss competition that is modeled after the Biggest Loser. It began on January 2 and ends on April 2 and there are about 300 people competing. Normally, I would be too shy or embarassed to join something like this but this time I told myself it would be good for me and I joined. I don't have anything (or anybody) holding me back anymore. I know I need to get healthy and I know I would be such a more confident and happier person is I lost all of this excess weight, but I tend to hold myself back. Not this time. I am in it to win it and even if I don't win, I am determined to do well. My goal is to lose 40 pounds during the 3 month competition. Of course, if I lost more I would be ecstatic but my short term goal for now is 40 pounds. I know my problem is already going to be fitting in hours of exercise to my already hectic schedule. I work 2 jobs, am going to school, and have my baby to take care of. That doesn't leave a lot of free time but this is something I have to do. I need this for my life. I am going to work out every single day, even if it is not at the gym. If I cannot make it to the gym one day I will do an exercise DVD here at home. For the eating portion, I will be doing the weight watchers points method and writing down everything I eat. I may have to adjust things a bit as the contest goes on, but this is my game plan for now.

The first weigh-in was this past Saturday and all other weigh-ins will be on Saturdays from here on out. Here's my stats so far:

Starting weight: 270

That number does not make me happy but this will be the last time I see that number on the scale. It's only going to go down from now on.

Here I Am

Welcome to my blog! I'm not quite sure how to categorize this blog. It's part weight loss journey, part motherhood tale, part life journey, and it's all me. I am going through some major life changes at the moment. Up until 4 weeks ago, I had the perfect life. I lived with my husband, our 3 dogs, and our new baby daughter. I was happy. Then, my world came crashing down. I found out my husband wasn't so great and had been lying, cheating, and basically living a double life since our daughter was born. We are now in the process of divorcing so I am now a single mom who is working and trying to finish college. On top of that, I decided to join a Biggest Loser type competition here in my hometown. It is going to be 3 months of working my ass off...literally.

With all the changes going on around me, I am determined to try things I've never tried and to open myself up like I never have. This is the perfect time in my life to focus on me and my happiness. I know it won't be easy and there is going to be lots of tears, smiles, and lots and lots of work but I am determined to be happy. I will come out of this situation a better mother and an all around better person.

There is no time like the present!