Okay, here are the results from this week's weigh-in...
Starting weight: 270
Current weight: 258.8
Total pounds lost: 11.2
I am super excited right now. And proud. And that much more motivated to keep going. Not only did I hit my first 10 pound goal this week but I also broke out of the 260's. I am finally in the 250's, which I haven't been in since who knows when. I've been following the same formula: tracking my food intake using the Weight Watchers point system, working out twice a week with my trainer, doing cardio on my off days from my trainer, and taking as many classes as the gym as possible. Now, I don't want to make it seem like my formula is fool proof, because it definitely isn't. On Saturday and Sunday I had ginormous pieces of cake. It was delicious, but there was a voice inside my head reminding me that I would have to work that much harder this week to burn off those extra calories. I also skipped out on the gym twice this week on days that I normally go, but to make up for it I went an extra hour on the days that I did end up going. My life is crazy right now and I am going through a lot of big changes. I know that my life isn't always going to be scheduloed out and planned out to a T, but, just as I did this week, as long as I can adapt and make good choices in the long run I am positive that I can keep moving forward in a healthy direction.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Weigh-In Day, Week 4
Yesterday was my third official weigh-in for the Biggest Loser competition. There was no weigh-in last week so I was really hoping for a big number this week.
Starting weight: 270
Current weight: 262
Total pounds lost: 8
I lost 3 pounds for this week, which I am happy about because it's better than gaining but it's also not the big number I was hoping for. I'm not too disappointed though. In my eyes, any weight lost is a tiny bit closer to my goal and I have been putting tons of effort into this and that's all I can ask of myself.
This coming week I am going to continue working hard at the gym and eating right. By this time next week, I want to be completely out of the 260's. I know I can do it!
Starting weight: 270
Current weight: 262
Total pounds lost: 8
I lost 3 pounds for this week, which I am happy about because it's better than gaining but it's also not the big number I was hoping for. I'm not too disappointed though. In my eyes, any weight lost is a tiny bit closer to my goal and I have been putting tons of effort into this and that's all I can ask of myself.
This coming week I am going to continue working hard at the gym and eating right. By this time next week, I want to be completely out of the 260's. I know I can do it!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Little Victories
I have been busy, busy, busy with working, school, taking care of my baby, and working out. There was no weigh-in this past weekend for the Biggest Loser because it was a holiday weekend and although I splurged a bit on Friday evening (alcohol was my weakness that night) I continued to work out as if there was still a weigh in.
Losing this weight and changing my lifestyle is going to be a long process. It has taken me years to put all of this weight on and it will take just as long to take it off. That can seem slightly overwhelming, so I am trying to celebrate any small victories I have along the way so I can stay motivated.
Yesterday I had to see my soon to be ex husband. It was already a rainy, gray day which kind of put me in a mood so seeing him was the last thing I wanted to do. I saw him for maybe 5 minutes total and it sent me into an emotional spiral. I was sad and depressed and wallowing in self pity. I had to run a few errands and went to Target. While I was there, I noticed all of the Valentine's Day candy that had just been put out. I spent about 20 minutes in the candy aisle arguing with myself about whether or not to get some candy. On one hand, I was sad and all I wanted was chocolate to make myself feel better but on the other hand I knew I would just be more upset with myself if I ate that candy. Eventually I pulled myself away from the candy and made myself go to the gym instead. Once my mood lifted, I was so proud of the choice I made and I realized that the candy would not have fixed anything.
I can't gaurentee that I will always be able to resistr temptations, in fact, I know there will be times when I give in. But I am glad I am learning to recognize that outside factors like my mood do affect my eating in a negative way. Being concious of the problem is half the battle, don't you think?
Losing this weight and changing my lifestyle is going to be a long process. It has taken me years to put all of this weight on and it will take just as long to take it off. That can seem slightly overwhelming, so I am trying to celebrate any small victories I have along the way so I can stay motivated.
Yesterday I had to see my soon to be ex husband. It was already a rainy, gray day which kind of put me in a mood so seeing him was the last thing I wanted to do. I saw him for maybe 5 minutes total and it sent me into an emotional spiral. I was sad and depressed and wallowing in self pity. I had to run a few errands and went to Target. While I was there, I noticed all of the Valentine's Day candy that had just been put out. I spent about 20 minutes in the candy aisle arguing with myself about whether or not to get some candy. On one hand, I was sad and all I wanted was chocolate to make myself feel better but on the other hand I knew I would just be more upset with myself if I ate that candy. Eventually I pulled myself away from the candy and made myself go to the gym instead. Once my mood lifted, I was so proud of the choice I made and I realized that the candy would not have fixed anything.
I can't gaurentee that I will always be able to resistr temptations, in fact, I know there will be times when I give in. But I am glad I am learning to recognize that outside factors like my mood do affect my eating in a negative way. Being concious of the problem is half the battle, don't you think?
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Plan Ahead
I have been told that when trying to change your diet and exercise routines, it can be extremely helpful to plan things out. Don't wait until the last minute to figure out what to eat for dinner and don't wait to see what time you'll be exercising. I don't think I ever really applied the planning ahead concept during my previous weight loss attempts. This time though, I am giving it a try. My life is so hectic right now anyways that a little bit of planning would probably make me feel less overwhelmed most days.
Tonight I made and packed my lunch for tomorrow while I'm at work. Usually I throw something together as I run out the door or I rely on fast food, neither of which is going to help me get healthy. This time I baked a chicken breast and put it together with some salad, broccoli, and a little bit of cheese. I packed some fruit for snacks and my lunch is complete. It's healthy, it was simple and easy to make, and best of all, it's already done and it's one less thing I have to worry about in the morning.
I've also been trying to chedule my exercise time in. This one seems to be a little bit more difficult for me because my schedule is so crazy and most of the time I just try to fit in some exercise when I can. I may not be able to get around that all the time, but for at least some of the time I can try to figure out a schedule. With my trainer, my appointments are already set so I can count on working out on those days. I am also planning on what days I will go work out after work or school and I am going to try to stick to that schedule.
All of this is going to help simplify my life and help minimize my stress. I have enough going on in my life that stresses me out and makes me crazy (i.e. a douchebag ex husband and a full workload and a growing baby) that I don't need to add anything else on top of it. I figure that it's worth a try. At this point, I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Tonight I made and packed my lunch for tomorrow while I'm at work. Usually I throw something together as I run out the door or I rely on fast food, neither of which is going to help me get healthy. This time I baked a chicken breast and put it together with some salad, broccoli, and a little bit of cheese. I packed some fruit for snacks and my lunch is complete. It's healthy, it was simple and easy to make, and best of all, it's already done and it's one less thing I have to worry about in the morning.
I've also been trying to chedule my exercise time in. This one seems to be a little bit more difficult for me because my schedule is so crazy and most of the time I just try to fit in some exercise when I can. I may not be able to get around that all the time, but for at least some of the time I can try to figure out a schedule. With my trainer, my appointments are already set so I can count on working out on those days. I am also planning on what days I will go work out after work or school and I am going to try to stick to that schedule.
All of this is going to help simplify my life and help minimize my stress. I have enough going on in my life that stresses me out and makes me crazy (i.e. a douchebag ex husband and a full workload and a growing baby) that I don't need to add anything else on top of it. I figure that it's worth a try. At this point, I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Weigh-In Day, Week 2
Today was my second weigh-in for the Biggest Loser challenge. I was very nervous, but also excited to see if any of my efforts had paid off at all. Here are my stats:
Starting weight: 270
Current Weight: 265
I lost 5 pounds! I'm happy with that result, although there is a little nagging voice in the back of my head that tells me it won't be enough to win the competition. I know there were people in front of me in line who were losing 10 pounds, but it doesn't go by weight lost, it goes by percentage of body fat lost. I may still have a chance, as slight as it may be. Even though I would love to win the contest, this all goes beyond that. This is something I am doing for me. It is my fresh start at life and it is helping me rebuild myself as a stronger, happier, and healthier person. I will be reaping the benefits from this for the rest of my life. So yes, winning would be amazing, but no matter what the outcome, I will come out on top anyways.
Starting weight: 270
Current Weight: 265
I lost 5 pounds! I'm happy with that result, although there is a little nagging voice in the back of my head that tells me it won't be enough to win the competition. I know there were people in front of me in line who were losing 10 pounds, but it doesn't go by weight lost, it goes by percentage of body fat lost. I may still have a chance, as slight as it may be. Even though I would love to win the contest, this all goes beyond that. This is something I am doing for me. It is my fresh start at life and it is helping me rebuild myself as a stronger, happier, and healthier person. I will be reaping the benefits from this for the rest of my life. So yes, winning would be amazing, but no matter what the outcome, I will come out on top anyways.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Working Through the Pain
I am in a lot of pain, both physically and emotionally. Going through a divorce is not easy. Nobody ever told me it was, but the amount of heartbreak and hurt and tears was something that could never be explained beforehand. I have good days and bad days and this week there have been more bad than good, unfortunately.
After my first training session on Tuesday I was pretty sore, but I felt good. Flash forward to Wednesday and I was in a lot more pain and that feel good feeling had left. I could barely move my legs and even walking was no easy task. I don't think I've ever been that sore, not even after my c-section!
Unfortunately, I let the emotional and physical obstacles derail me a little bit this week. I'm so mad at myself for letting that happen, especially since it's only the first week. I know I could have worked out longer and harder and more often, but I told myself that I needed a break because I couldn't move my legs. I should have just sucked it up and worked through the pain, no matter how bad it was. Also, due to all the emotional crap, I let myself wallow in self-pity and sadness and used that as an excuse not work out. I did work out and I did monitor my eating, but I know I could have done more and that is disappointing. If I get eliminated from the Biggest loser contest this week because of my mistakes, I will have nobody to blame but myself. I hope I miraculously make it through and I know I will take this week and try to grow and learn from it. There is no excuse good enough to not take care of myself and my needs. I need to work out. I need to eat right. I need to do this and put 100% into it. No ifs, ands, or buts.
"Pain is just weakness leaving your body." This will be my new mantra for next week.
After my first training session on Tuesday I was pretty sore, but I felt good. Flash forward to Wednesday and I was in a lot more pain and that feel good feeling had left. I could barely move my legs and even walking was no easy task. I don't think I've ever been that sore, not even after my c-section!
Unfortunately, I let the emotional and physical obstacles derail me a little bit this week. I'm so mad at myself for letting that happen, especially since it's only the first week. I know I could have worked out longer and harder and more often, but I told myself that I needed a break because I couldn't move my legs. I should have just sucked it up and worked through the pain, no matter how bad it was. Also, due to all the emotional crap, I let myself wallow in self-pity and sadness and used that as an excuse not work out. I did work out and I did monitor my eating, but I know I could have done more and that is disappointing. If I get eliminated from the Biggest loser contest this week because of my mistakes, I will have nobody to blame but myself. I hope I miraculously make it through and I know I will take this week and try to grow and learn from it. There is no excuse good enough to not take care of myself and my needs. I need to work out. I need to eat right. I need to do this and put 100% into it. No ifs, ands, or buts.
"Pain is just weakness leaving your body." This will be my new mantra for next week.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
4 More Days
Until weigh-in day, I am both excited and nervous. I have been working out and today I had my first personal training session. I would love to say I can do this on my own and I don't need to spend the money on a trainer, but I can't. If I could do this completely on my own then I wouldn't have let myself get this fat. That's the truth. I have great intentions, but my motivation tends to die down when things get tough. I guess you could say I baby myself. That's where the personal trainer comes in. She can keep me focused and keep my going during those tough workouts. I need all the extra kicks in the ass I can get. I'm also going to try to fit in as many of the group classes being offered by the gym as possible. They are in a group setting, which will keep me motivated because I don't want to be the class loser that can't finish the workout and they have an instructor that will tell me what to do so I know I'm getting a really good workout. I just hope all my efforts pay off at the weigh-in.
I went back to work this week after being on maternity leave for 2 months. School also began this week and I am so close to finishing it's not even funny. I know my life is going to be extremely busy in the upcoming months and part of me wonders whether I can really handle all of this. I keep telling myself I can and I guess I will just have to take it one day at a time. No more sleeping in and having all day pajama days for me!
I went back to work this week after being on maternity leave for 2 months. School also began this week and I am so close to finishing it's not even funny. I know my life is going to be extremely busy in the upcoming months and part of me wonders whether I can really handle all of this. I keep telling myself I can and I guess I will just have to take it one day at a time. No more sleeping in and having all day pajama days for me!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Bakersfield's Biggest Loser
I did something very uncharacteristic for me. I joined a weight loss competition that is modeled after the Biggest Loser. It began on January 2 and ends on April 2 and there are about 300 people competing. Normally, I would be too shy or embarassed to join something like this but this time I told myself it would be good for me and I joined. I don't have anything (or anybody) holding me back anymore. I know I need to get healthy and I know I would be such a more confident and happier person is I lost all of this excess weight, but I tend to hold myself back. Not this time. I am in it to win it and even if I don't win, I am determined to do well. My goal is to lose 40 pounds during the 3 month competition. Of course, if I lost more I would be ecstatic but my short term goal for now is 40 pounds. I know my problem is already going to be fitting in hours of exercise to my already hectic schedule. I work 2 jobs, am going to school, and have my baby to take care of. That doesn't leave a lot of free time but this is something I have to do. I need this for my life. I am going to work out every single day, even if it is not at the gym. If I cannot make it to the gym one day I will do an exercise DVD here at home. For the eating portion, I will be doing the weight watchers points method and writing down everything I eat. I may have to adjust things a bit as the contest goes on, but this is my game plan for now.
The first weigh-in was this past Saturday and all other weigh-ins will be on Saturdays from here on out. Here's my stats so far:
Starting weight: 270
That number does not make me happy but this will be the last time I see that number on the scale. It's only going to go down from now on.
The first weigh-in was this past Saturday and all other weigh-ins will be on Saturdays from here on out. Here's my stats so far:
Starting weight: 270
That number does not make me happy but this will be the last time I see that number on the scale. It's only going to go down from now on.
Here I Am
Welcome to my blog! I'm not quite sure how to categorize this blog. It's part weight loss journey, part motherhood tale, part life journey, and it's all me. I am going through some major life changes at the moment. Up until 4 weeks ago, I had the perfect life. I lived with my husband, our 3 dogs, and our new baby daughter. I was happy. Then, my world came crashing down. I found out my husband wasn't so great and had been lying, cheating, and basically living a double life since our daughter was born. We are now in the process of divorcing so I am now a single mom who is working and trying to finish college. On top of that, I decided to join a Biggest Loser type competition here in my hometown. It is going to be 3 months of working my ass off...literally.
With all the changes going on around me, I am determined to try things I've never tried and to open myself up like I never have. This is the perfect time in my life to focus on me and my happiness. I know it won't be easy and there is going to be lots of tears, smiles, and lots and lots of work but I am determined to be happy. I will come out of this situation a better mother and an all around better person.
There is no time like the present!
With all the changes going on around me, I am determined to try things I've never tried and to open myself up like I never have. This is the perfect time in my life to focus on me and my happiness. I know it won't be easy and there is going to be lots of tears, smiles, and lots and lots of work but I am determined to be happy. I will come out of this situation a better mother and an all around better person.
There is no time like the present!
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